Platform of Presidential Candidate Stuart Wechsler, nominee of the the Party Party (also known as the Know Everything Party, formerly the Know Nothing Party):
1) No taxes for anybody.
2) Free ice cream and French fries for everybody.
3) Free rides on any Coney Island attractions.
4) No solicitations for your sisters, that's not nice. (Unless you get a fair percentage of the price!)
5) Lower the voting age to 3.
6) Lower the driving age to 6 months of age.
7) A chicken in every pot.
8) Foreign policy: First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. (Per foreign policy adviser Leonard Cohen.)
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